Dangling Carrots.

As if Gorilla was reading my mind, the first thing he said when he came home last night was "I hate the Marine Corps." This was around 7:30, about 2 hours after I made dinner and an hour after I stopped trying to listen for his Jeep in the driveway.

It breaks my heart that he hates his job. I also feel really, really guilty. I had a job that I hated and dreaded going to, and he was super supportive and encouraged me to quit. He said the things that I wish I could say to him now: "Life is too short. I hate seeing you unhappy. Just QUIT and you can find something that makes you happy. Life is too short."

Oh, but wait. There is no quitting in the military. They have so many clever ways of keeping you reeled in. In Gorilla's case, it was that elusive Captain title. Oh Gorilla, you are in zone to make Captain this year! Isn't that great? Oh, but wait. There's a small catch. You have to career designate. That means that instead of having the option of getting out in December of 2008, you are required to give us at least two more years. How does 2010 sound? No? But you want Captain before you get out don't you? That's what I thought.

What is it about that title that is so attractive to LTs? Is it a pride thing? Gorilla claims that to civilians, who have no military knowledge, the title of Captain just sounds important. Think about what you hear in movies. Aside from the military rank of Captain, which seems important and noble to unsuspecting civilians, there are many other notable Captains. Captain Kangaroo. Captain Caveman. Captain Planet. Captain Crunch. (he's my favorite) You don't hear of any cool LTs. (besides LT Dan) Hmm, maybe Gorilla has a point.

Last night we sat on the couch and discussed the hypothetical scenarios that could have been. We could be finding jobs and places to rent in preparation for our move to San Francisco before Christmas of this year. We could be in the process of putting our house on the market right now. We could be preparing for the civilian world.

Instead we're talking about the upcoming deployment, the horrid hours he's working, and the ridiculous amount of time that he's going to be gone before the deployment for training. (according to the dates that his CO gave us, he is going to be gone for my birthday and our anniversary again. That's three years in a row folks. Spending your birthday alone is so freaking depressing)

Coulda, woulda, shoulda, right?

And just so this post isn't nothing but pessimism (of which I am known for)- my sub job did not start today. Oh, I did go in at 7:00 this morning. Turns out they changed the school hours and the secretary failed to update me. So I wasted 45 minutes and returned to the secretary telling me, "Oh, don't sign in. Just go check with her first and see how she's feeling." What?? Isn't that what you're supposed to do?

So I go to introduce myself to the what I thought was ready-to-pop teacher. Turns out she's doing fine and will probably be okay for a week or two at least. And because I promised some optimism- the job is going to be so freaking easy! I will be co-teaching with a male coach who will take care of the lesson plans. Basically I just show up to babysit. Seriously sweet. And I get to wear comfy clothes everday. No lesson planning, no extra duties, no stress. All for a whopping $70 a day after taxes. I can't complain though.

So waking up at 5:30, showing up early, and going in for free was so worth it to hear that the job is going to be cake. Now I just need to buy a whistle. (yes, she was wearing one around her neck. Some stereotypes are true)