A bad mix.

Here's a recipe for you: (I don't recommend trying it)

-a little bit of self-doubt
-a lot of feeling fat
-a little bit of feeling useless
-a lot of extra weight
-a little bit of exercise
-financial stress
-PMS

Throw those all together in your paranoid, over-imaginative head and guess what you get: A BREAKDOWN. Ugh.

That's what happened to me yesterday. Needless to say, poor Gorilla got the brunt of it. What's a guy to do when you start the "I feel so fat and ugly" rant?

It has been a little frustrating. I've started going all Low-Fat Martha Stewart-y and attending spin class and trying to do better. But instead of losing weight, I'm gaining. And no, it's NOT muscle, because my clothes definitely aren't fitting better.

Added in the breakdown mix is the fact that I can't find a job that will help pay off our credit card/student loan debt. And that's so frustrating. I'm a very capable person. But I've got a degree that I don't want to use. I don't want to teach right now. But no one will hire me. So what am I supposed to do? I used a calculator online to figure out, at the amount we're able to pay right now, how long it would take to pay off our debt- TWELVE years!! But, if I got a job, we could do it in ONE. How completely frustrating is that?